Naomi does not teach parents how to “get kids to be/do…” but rather how to be with children so that they are free to be their own magnificent selves. Parents say that what they get out of Naomi’s work is much more than help in parenting – they get self-realization, which frees them to see the child with clarity and wisdom.
Naomi’s Declaration of Complete Confidence in Children:
- Children respond best to modeling and leadership, not control.
- Trust… and wait.
- Choose between your momentary convenience and your long-term goal for your child’s sense of self.
- Enjoy your child for who he is, not for who you would like him to be – he will never be this age again.
- Distinguish between your emotional needs and what your child feels and needs. Act toward your child in harmony with her needs; take care of your emotional needs elsewhere.
- Celebrate your child’s uniqueness as well as your own.
You can sign up for Naomi Aldort’s free newsletter and read some of her parenting articles on her site.
I especially love her views on institutionalized schooling;
School, Learning and Self-Esteem:
When children are represented as empty and ignorant vessels, adults brace themselves for making adults out of them. This means that...
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When our neighboring Mount St. Helens started to rumble, one of my children asked, “Do people who live close by get mad when the volcano erupts?” “Do you get mad at the rain?” I asked. While he was pondering my question, his brother said, “Being mad at the rain or a mountain erupting is as insane as being mad at another person.” Indeed, we live at peace with nature because we have realized that it doesn’t change to fit our ideas. Yet, too often we expect humans to change according to our thoughts and children to develop according to our plan. Such expectations leave us frustrated and powerless.
How do I know it’s raining? I observe. I don’t try to change the rain; I respond by taking an umbrella. Likewise, how do I know what my child should be? I observe and respond without trying to manipulate.
Translations
“But,” protests a caring father, “How do we respond kindly when a child is hitting, grabbing, or making a mess?”
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Questions answered:
- What parents don´t understand from your book most often - what do you have most often to explain to them again?
Read more: Interview: Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves
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