When our neighboring Mount St. Helens started to rumble, one of my children asked, “Do people who live close by get mad when the volcano erupts?” “Do you get mad at the rain?” I asked. While he was pondering my question, his brother said, “Being mad at the rain or a mountain erupting is as insane as being mad at another person.” Indeed, we live at peace with nature because we have realized that it doesn’t change to fit our ideas. Yet, too often we expect humans to change according to our thoughts and children to develop according to our plan. Such expectations leave us frustrated and powerless.
How do I know it’s raining? I observe. I don’t try to change the rain; I respond by taking an umbrella. Likewise, how do I know what my child should be? I observe and respond without trying to manipulate.
Translations
“But,” protests a caring father, “How do we respond kindly when a child is hitting, grabbing, or making a mess?”
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Questions answered:
- What parents don´t understand from your book most often - what do you have most often to explain to them again?
Read more: Interview: Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves
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